" Forgive To Be Forgiven " ( My Testimony A true story )
The holy bible says that " if you forgive not OTHERS their trespasses, than neither shall your trespasses be forgiven you". In the year 2000 I found out just "how hard" this may be to do, being raised a christian, I knew that the word of GOD says this.
However, I had gotten caught up in the world and was not "living for GOD". Although I believed in Jesus, had been baptized, and had accepted Him as my savior years before, HE was not first
and forefront in my everyday life.
I was into performing, writing, and trying to be discovered as a country music artist, and guitarist.
In February year 2000, something tragic happened that changed all of that. My sister, who was almost two years older than me at the time, lived across town, and although we were fairly close, I did not see her real often.
We talked on the phone fairly regular. Anyway, to not be too long winded, she and her family were associated with a fellow who was an unbeliever. Then, things took a turn for the worst one evening, and he shot her and my niece who was fourteen at the time.
Both were killed. Needless to say this rocked the very fiber of my being, and I had all kinds of thoughts of taking revenge into my own hands.
Three days later at the funeral, her pastor asked me if I could forgive the fellow who did this and I truthfully told him that no, I could not find it in my heart to forgive him that soon.
The pastor told me that I was letting this man stand in the way of me and GOD, I knew what he meant by this, but I still was not going to stand there in front of GOD and all and lie to him.
Several days of torment passed, and I finally in desperation, while sitting on the couch at home alone, I raised my hand to the LORD.
I told Him that I did not understand this, and that I needed HIS help, to do so, so HE told me this (not audibly) He put the words into my heart.
He said "get into My word, and I will be with you to give you understanding so that you will turn this tragedy into something good.
Well at first I did not understand how anything GOOD could come from this, but still I trusted GOD and did what He asked me to do.
I started studying the word of GOD, and I prayed that the LORD would give me understanding of what I was reading, HE DID.
After a few months of earnest bible study, I came to the passage in Matthew, that is talking about "forgive ye others, their trespasses, or your trespasses will not be forgiven you," and it was then that the following happened:
I raised my hand unto the LORD, and said:
"Father, I do not have it in my heart to forgive this man for what he did."
He answered me saying: Speak ye the words, and I shall do the work."
At the time this made no sense to me, so I plainly asked Him:
Are you telling me to stand here before you, and tell you? That which I know to be a lie?
I do not have it in my heart to forgive him yet!
Again the LORD said unto me:
"Speak ye the words, and I shall do the work."
Except this time, it sounded to my heart as a command.
So I raised my hand unto the LORD and spoke these words:
"LORD, I forgive this man, for what he has done.
While I was saying the words...I still did not feel like I truly meant the words.
But what AMAZED ME, WAS JUST AS SOON AS THE WORDS HAD LEFT MY MOUTH
HE MOVED UPON MY HEART..with grace, and peace, and GAVE ME THE ABILITY,
to really mean what I had said!
The instant, the words left my mouth - His spirit moved upon me,
and the burden of the turmoil of what I had felt: LEFT ME.
As soon as I obeyed His command of "Speak ye the words, and I shall do the work,"
THEN, I understood that what HE had meant was: HE would give me the ability
to really mean what I had said: HE gave me the grace, and mercy to actually do it.
HE "did the work." In the same instant - HE gave me the mercy and compassion to forgive.
The FATHER knows all men's hearts, and as soon as I spoke the words, HE changed what had been in my heart - all within an instant.
The anguish and the turmoil that I had been dragging around like a great ball and chain, LEFT..it felt like the weight of the world had just been removed from my shoulders.
At that very moment I KNEW that GODS grace had descended upon me and made me into a new creature.
So I know that when someone does something like this to you the pain and anguish can and will do one or two things.
It can bring you closer to GOD, or if Satan has HIS WAY, it can make you reject the LORD, and become a miserable cynic. (For a season)
I thank GOD for answering my call for help. When a person is broken-hearted for whatever reason, the bible says that GOD is right there. "Even within reach of you."
All you have to do is reach out to HIM and call on the LORD, and He will answer.
HE always knows whatever you are going through and understands exactly HOW you feel.
A person cannot get away with saying to me, no-one understands how I feel, or knows what I am going through, for God knows!
HE wants to help, and whenever no man can answer questions that you may have about anything, GOD CAN. HE WILL. I KNOW.
If this article helps just ONE human get through, something that they are going through, than it was worth the effort to tell this personal event in my life.
The GOOD that GOD promised me, would come from this if I turned it over to HIM and trusted His guidance, was that it brought me closer to HIM.
After a couple of more years of studying his word, then the LORD put it in my heart to become a minister, and so I did.
Now, when I raise my hand to GOD, it is a lot more often for the sake of helping someone else, healing, hearing and loving all brothers/sister in CHRIST.
I do not mean that I can heal, but through prayers of mine GOD has performed several miracles that I have witnessed with my own two eyes.......LORD BLESS YOU ALL!
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